How many of you are familiar with this quote?

I'll admit that I only came across it recently, but I'm sure we've all heard the saying, "Comparison is the thief of joy."

This quote heavily emphasizes that life is not a competition; it is a journey.

Viewing it otherwise almost always leads to unhappiness within ourselves and envy for others.

The Pitfalls of Comparison

But why do we still fall into the comparison trap? And is comparing ourselves to others really all that bad?

After all, we compare things in our daily lives all the time. We compare the price tags of different items or how we look in the mirror.

Furthermore, science relies on comparison to decipher the similarities and differences between organisms, the food chain, and for various practical purposes.

So does this mean comparison is universally bad? Not necessarily.

However, when we use comparisons as a tool to measure our self-worth, value, and happiness, we are effectively surrendering the power to define these qualities from within ourselves to external factors.

Once we start down this path, we begin to feel a sense of urgency and pressure to conform to a certain standard, to be at a specific place in our lives by a certain age.

We start to bully ourselves into believing that we are incapable, unworthy, or that we would be so much happier living someone else's life.

The Influence of Childhood

I can personally relate to the weight of comparison.

Throughout childhood, I felt a heavy burden to excel in school, follow every rule, and be perfect to be worthy of love.

My father's words often echoed in my mind,

"How are you supposed to measure yourself if you don't compare yourself to X?"

This statement stuck to me like glue and created intrusive thoughts that led me to constantly compare myself to others, even to the point of lying about my own struggles.

Looking back, I understand that my father's intention was to motivate us, but this was the type of pressure and mentality he had experienced with his own parents.

This is a problem that many of us face.

The Truth About Self-Worth

Now, we all have room to grow and learn.

If comparing yourself to others is something you're struggling with, here's the truth:

You are incomparable. You are whole. You are enough.

Your self-worth is not contingent upon the people, achievements, conditions, or material possessions in your life.

It's not about money, a car, or a degree.

This is something you need to recognize about yourself to set yourself free.

The truth is within you.

Once you come to this deeper understanding, you can cultivate the feelings you crave, such as feeling complete and accepted, without the need for external validation.

Changing your Inner Self Talk

I understand that it's easier said than done, but one of the first steps is to change your inner self-talk.

Your words have incredible power.

Instead of saying, "I'm so behind in life," affirm, "At this moment, I am supported, and I am on the right track. I'm exactly where I am meant to be."

Instead of saying, "I can't get that type of love, that money, or that body," affirm, "I believe that I can achieve anything I want. I choose to believe in myself."

Starting today, challenge your old ways of thinking.

Your thoughts are a reflection of your core beliefs, and beliefs can form from repeated thought patterns.

So the next time a negative thought arises, catch yourself, and spend at least 5 minutes meditating with some breath-work, repeating these new affirmations to negate the old thought pattern.

This practice will alleviate pressure and remove the need to be something or someone you're not.

Practicing Gratitude

Now, let's practice gratitude.

Oftentimes, we overvalue what we don't have and undervalue what we do have.

Social media can exacerbate this tendency, bombarding us with everyone's highlight reels and making it easy to feel inadequate.

Be mindful of what you consume daily and how it makes you feel.

Consider a social media detox or reevaluate the types of pages you follow.

Your environment matters, and it influences your daily thoughts.

When your focus is on what you lack, that lack will continue to grow.

In contrast, when your attention is on what you have and you express gratitude for it, you enter a state of abundance and experience positive emotions like peace and happiness.

So, put your life back on the pedestal and find appreciation for what you do have.

Taking a moment to express gratitude for your life can work wonders for your overall well-being.

Shifting Your Perspective

Finally, shift your perspective.

If your goal in life is to achieve financial independence or experience real love and you view others who have what you desire as a threat, consider this wisdom from Dr. Joseph Murphy: "What you condemn, takes wings and flies away."

Envy and jealousy limit your ability to obtain what you desire from others.

Instead, channel those feelings into something positive, such as inspiration or empowerment.

When you are inspired by others' success, you feel a pull to maximize and expand your own life, to grow and become a better version of yourself. So, don't block yourself from receiving those blessings.

Conclusion: You Are Enough

In conclusion, remember that you are enough.

You are inherently worthy, beautiful, and unique.

You don't have to depend on anyone or anything to determine your self-worth.

Once you ground yourself in this way, nothing outside of you can shake that self-belief, and you wouldn't want to be anybody else but you.

Embrace your uniqueness and let go of the need to compare.

Your journey is yours alone and it's worth celebrating.

Love,

Clarity.