A fulfilling and joyful life, lies in the dance between pursuit and presence.

A pursuit for something greater and the presence for what is.

I used to believe that happiness and peace was a destination, an endpoint somewhere along the horizon. 

This illusion led me down the alluring path of “When I's” and “Then I's”.

“When I achieve money, then I’ll be happy”

“When I graduate school, then I’ll be worthy”

“When I become perfect, then I’ll be loved” 

This formula has two essential parts: a goal and an outcome. 

The goal, following the "when I," represents the pursuit, our journey towards our desires.

The outcome, embodied in the "then I's," represents the presence, the moment when we choose to settle into being and allow life to unfold before us.

The pursuit of goals and the presence of our journey on the way there are complementary aspects of a holistic existence. 

Similar to the Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang, the two concepts oppose each other and at the same time, are harmonious with one another. 

However, a lot of us face the issue of allowing our pursuit to overshadow our presence. 

How this used to look like for me, was withholding and postponing self-love, happiness and peace until my external world would align with my ideals. 

I was stressed, disconnected from everything and everyone, becoming more impatient with myself and for my life to just get into order, which contributed even further to a lack of overall well-being. 

A metaphor to explain this is how Life is like a garden. 

The planting of seeds are our goals for the future, and our tending to the garden is where we practice being present, appreciating the beauty for what is. 

Our pursuit of goals is how we evolve, gain direction, meaning and fulfillment in life.

Our ability to be present is what brings us into a state of expansiveness, connection, inner peace and freedom. 

When we balance the two, we learn to live in harmony. 

The Allure of Pursuit

Every living entity on planet earth has a built in goal-striving device. 

Our cells work 24/7 to maintain and perpetuate life. 

The birds in the sky relocate thousands of miles for ideal conditions.

Nature's creatures have an instinctual pursuit for sustenance and survival.

This is ingrained in the whole fabric of existence.

It is a need to pursue goals. 

What makes humans different is an additional need for emotional and spiritual satisfaction.

The need for a full, enriching life. 

However, the conundrum lies when we get lost in the pursuit of goals that keeps us in a perpetual state of chasing after happiness.

This is not to say that setting goals for yourself is a bad thing, but rather, if we forget to enjoy the journey on the way there, we’ll condition ourselves even further into believing that happiness or peace will always be at a distance from us.

When truly, it is a state of being that is accessible to you right now, despite what is going on around you. 

A mindset shift that has helped me with my pursuit of goals, is recognizing that this is more about the act of becoming, as opposed to the final outcome. 

In embracing this shift from focusing solely on the final outcome to valuing the journey of becoming, we unlock the power of presence.

The Power of Presence

The most beautiful, happiest times in my life were always in a state of pure presence. 

Life becomes so pristine and alive when you are aware of just being. 

The interesting way I discovered this was when I had my awakening.

It was a very similar experience that Eckhart Tolle had in his book, “The Power of Now”. 

I was in my room, laying in bed with the most intense, unbearable mental pain and darkness I’ve experienced.

Something just happened where the pressure of my thoughts and emotions built up and just like a light switch, my whole system forced me to collapse from my mind, to let go and everything became silent. 

The mental chatter that plagued me for years dissipated and I was fully conscious and aware of the now. 

The same room that I was in so much anguish in, became alive, fresh and brand new again. 

Back then, I didn’t understand what had happened to me, but I knew that something inside me had shifted. 

What I know now is that I discovered a source of serenity and joy that had always existed within me but was clouded by my ego -  This was the power of now. 

My ego, which were the thoughts, worries, expectations and negative beliefs about myself and the world around me, would wash away when I am present. 

This ultimately became the turning point in my life. 

Each time I found myself getting too caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, focused on doing the next thing and getting stressed.

I would remember to bring my awareness back to self.

I’ve developed the practice of bringing my awareness back to being. 

The powerful shift happens when you simply change when I, to I am. 

If you really take that moment, to just be aware and notice the things around you that we often overlook, you’ll view life in such a peaceful and blissful light. 

You’ll find that every emotion and every feeling that you desire, is a gift that is available in the here and now. 

I Am encapsulates being and the beautiful, creative part of being “I am” is that you can add whatever you want after that, that is in service to you. 

Instead of saying, “When I achieve perfection, Then I’ll be worthy”

How about we go straight to, “I AM worthy”.

Instead of saying, “When I can prove to my parents, my family or friends, that I’m doing what they want me to do then I’ll be loved”

How about we go straight to, “I am loved”.

The truth is, in the here and now, there is nothing to wait for. 

For everything that is, exists in the present. 

Harmonizing Ambition and Presence

At the time of this letter being made, I have around 500 YouTube subscribers, working part time nannying, caring for my grandmother and building my business whilst pursuing my life goals. 

And you know what?

I’m okay with where I am.

I’m also at peace, fulfilled and driven for where I am going.

In the past, I used to judge myself harshly for not measuring up to certain standards, comparing myself to others and feeling left behind.

However, I've learned a valuable lesson along the way.

Life isn't just about reaching our goals.

While goal achievement is crucial for our growth and fulfillment, it's equally important to savor the moments that seem insignificant.

It is through presence where love, peace and freedom is found. 

Life isn’t a race to the finish line; it’s a beautiful journey filled with meaningful moments. 

Embrace your pursuit, but don’t forget to embrace the present too and may you experience the beautiful dance of life.

Love,

Clarity.