My 20s are not going according to plan and I think many of us can relate.

In high school, we have these grand visions and goals for our early 20s. Now that I'm getting older, my life looks so different from what I imagined at 16 or 18.

It's funny how you can have one plan in mind, but God has other plans for you. It doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s too late to achieve the goals you set for yourself, but it is a humbling experience when things don’t flow effortlessly as you intended.

A Time of Excitement and Confusion

This stage of life is such a mix of excitement and confusion. You feel lost but also thrilled by new experiences. It's a very experimental time in your life, yet it can be isolating. People come and go, and sometimes you just don't vibe with the same people anymore.

There's so much change and it can be overwhelming, especially when your expectations don't match reality.

When I was 18, I thought I would have traveled half the world by now, which I find funny, given the financial climate we’re living in. I've traveled a little bit, but not as much as I dreamed and that's okay.

There's also this pressure to have everything figured out by your 20s, especially coming from a traditional Asian background. There's a cultural parental competition to show off your child’s achievements and I often feel like I haven't accomplished much (sorry Mum and Dad lol). But really, we're still figuring things out and it's okay to admit that we're lost and confused.

The Impact of Social Media

Social media also makes it easy to feel behind in life. Seeing classmates or friends succeed or start to hit those adulting milestones—like buying a house, having a family, or getting married—can make you feel inadequate. I don't know if you feel this way too, but it also shows how fast we are growing up and it is such a bittersweet experience. We're not kids anymore and it’s showing in our changing relationships.

People we were once close to become strangers and that's just part of growing up.

I've met wonderful new people, but I've also drifted away from many. Friendships change as our values and interests evolve. It's not that anyone is a bad person; we just grow apart. This change is hard, especially when it comes to relationships. But I've learned that as long as I'm there for myself and comfortable with who I am, I'll be okay.

Fear of Being Seen

Another thing I'm learning to navigate is the fear of being seen. Social media plays a huge role in our lives, but I'm trying to balance sharing and keeping some parts of my life private.

Before, I used to put my entire life on blast, but once I turned 20 or 21, I wiped all my social media accounts clean. I needed a break from the toxic social media environment. When I felt ready, I returned to social media with a new intention: to connect with others who feel alone or need help, which has now turned into this personal blog.

I've also been more intentional with the social media content I consume. From the podcasts I listen to and the videos I watch, my algorithm is heavily tuned into self-development and metaphysical content. I've also been reading books like Joe Dispenza's Becoming Supernatural, which is fantastic (p.s. I’ve been healing quite nicely because of it).

Striking a healthy balance between social media and real life was challenging at first, but once I began doing things that are good for my mind, body, and spirit, I couldn't imagine going back to my old ways with technology.

Finding Community and Connection

One way I've found to feel less isolated is by reaching out and connecting with others. It’s easy to feel like we’re alone in our experiences, but the truth is, many of us are searching for the same sense of belonging.

Lately, I’ve been experimenting with trying new things—joining online meditation groups, volunteering, exploring writing programs and even attending local workshops. These activities have introduced me to new faces and different perspectives, helping me feel more grounded and connected.

I’ve realized that sometimes all it takes is stepping out of your comfort zone, even just a little bit, to find that connection we all crave. Whether it’s a shared passion or just the simple act of showing up, these small steps have made a big difference in how I feel about my place in the world.

If you’re feeling isolated or lost, I encourage you to try something new. You never know who you might meet or what opportunities might come your way. And even if it feels a bit awkward at first, remember that everyone is searching for connection in their own way.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope my experiences resonate with you and bring some comfort. We're all in this together, figuring things out day by day.

Love,

Clarity.